flash mobs, score boards, modern romance and job hunting

I'm reading a new book about modern romance. Yup, that is seriously what it is about. I'm not afraid to admit it. Admittedly, I did not know it was about that when I started reading it, but by the time my Kindle told me I was 15% into the book I was hooked. It got me thinking about how weird the concept of romance has gotten and how that same weird concept has infiltrated our work life as well and if it was a good thing or not.


I'd like to meet the first person that asked their significant other to marry them on an arena score board or the first person to YouTube a flash mob wedding proposal. I'd like to meet them and punch them in the face. (It may sound mean but it is what it is.

This happens SO much, there is even an infographic on the set costs of doing such a thing. So much for original

This happens SO much, there is even an infographic on the set costs of doing such a thing. So much for original

When those people did that, they changed everything because they made proposals this massive event that now has no originality, no meaning and forces people to think bigger and bigger is their only option. (If you asked someone to marry you in this form, I'm not talking about you, you didn't have a choice, it was expected so I understand. I'm mad at the 1st person who did it, they are on my list.) Now we live in a world of awkward white guys dancing to impress their wife and relatives at the reception and millions of judging spectators on YouTube. 

You are probably now wondering, what in the world I am talking about. Modern romance has turned us into braggadocious show boating competitive weirdo's. It isn't just with potential lifemates either. All of the sudden we are trying to do the same thing at work. 

We apply for jobs online with a thousand other yahoo's for the same role. A computer picks up if we chose the right generic words to win the interview lottery. Then we chat with an HR person that often times hasn't been provided any real information on the role. If you pass this step you then get to meet with 1 to 20 other people on the team to determine if you are a fit for the role. There is no timeline provided, call backs are never when they say they will be, nobody responds to your thank you email, voicemail or thank you card, even though it is an expected practice. So basically we do all of these things just to play the game. What this means, is that the idea of "modern romance" or technology has quite literally turned getting a new job into winning the employment lottery.

I sound bitter, I know but maybe I am. I have been helping a lot of people lately to find jobs and the responses and experiences I hear about are appalling. These are seriously qualified people with good resumes, good personalities and everything else you would expect from someone you wanted to hire. Now being qualified isn't enough. You need your own career flash mob. Full disclosure, you probably shouldn't do a flash mob for an HR department. 

So I guess the question is, what would be the equivalent to a wedding proposal flash mob for our careers? How do we let people know who we are and what we have to offer in a compelling "man I gotta hire this kid right away" kind of way?

Some people do have some pretty interesting ideas from sandwich boards saying "hire me", taking out ads, video resume's etc. In some small cases, that works, but it isn't a guarantee. I am not sure I know the answer but...I will say this. Maybe this type of crazy idea job hunting will lose its luster. Maybe we are in the down slide of schemes and tactics to get a job and we are moving up towards good old fashioned hard word, dedication and drive...I said MAYBE, which probably reinforces the fact that I have no clue what the answer is. That reinforces the fact that maybe this post doesn't have its plot wrapped up in a nice bow.

Let's bring it back to the beginning and the idea of a flash mob wedding proposal. How many stories that start that way end with a 50th wedding anniversary? This is not meant as a judgement more of a hypothesis. When you start something as life altering as a marriage or a job it is special. You are learning new things every day, you get butterflies, there is always something new and exciting to talk about and share. All of that means that there isn't a need for any flashy addition to make it better, it's already awesome.

As time goes by, in a marriage or a job things start to settle, they become a little more routine, the quirks we used to love now make the hair on our neck raise up. THIS is when we need a scoreboard proclamation of love. This is when we need to be reminded why we are there. This may be easy to imagine in relation to a marriage or love, a tad harder maybe for a job. I see i like this, fancy resume's and big bold gestures may in fact get someone's attention at a place of employment, they may even get you in to a job but getting in is only the first step. Once you're in is when the hard work really begins and unless you are always at score board level or above, the expectation you created isn't being met. You have to do more and more to be seen and recognized for your work and it is usually at this point when people start to not like the job they so publicly fought to get.

I think it is time to bring some real romance back to our lives. It is time for us to do the work that gets us scene, recognized and adored. Modern romance? I'll take good old fashioned "till death do us part" kind of romance and get a career instead of a job. 

no flash mob or scoreboard required.

laid off? tips for what to do now...

This week I experienced a small setback, then I received news that so many people I know lost their jobs this week. The experience hit me a little harder than I was expecting which reminded me how easy it is to be blindsided by life.

I was going to try and provide some stellar life altering advice on what to do once you lose your job. but instead I thought why not look at things a little differently. So, I have decided to offer some lemonade made from these lemons.

its summer time

Losing your job does suck, but you had the chance to lose it in the summer. Monday morning you get to do nothing. How often does that happen on a Monday? You don't have to instagram how much you hate Monday's for awhile.

Here is a list of some great things that don't happen on Monday's when you are an adult and next Monday,


You get to go swimming. It could be in a pool, lake, beach, wherever you want. The coolest part about swimming on a Monday? Nobody else is there so it doesn't matter what you look like in a bathing suit. I mean I think your beautiful and I hope you do too. But next Monday, slip on that bathing suit and flaunt it, nobody will be there and you will feel liberated. Of course, if you have a blog don't feel compelled to have to share a picture of you in said bathing suit. That totally defeats the point of nobody being around.

get your bronze on.

You know how you are always saying "agh I have no time to work out." well, now you do. You can try walking, weights, yoga, running, basically anything you want. Try something new. Remember, nobody's at the pool so maybe swim laps, or go out and try something that scares you on the water. You may look a little weird but all of these will keep you in shape and you'll be cocoa butter brown so that when you do go back to work you will be even more smoking hot than you normally do and people will start talking by the water cooler about the new hottie in the office.

If exercise isn't your thing, go spend a day acting like a big kid. I'm serious, spend the day in a playground and actually play. We get so caught up in our work lives and family that we forget the art of play. I get made fun of a lot but I love playgrounds. There's no way to not have fun when you play on a jungle gym or swing on a tire swing. 

I'm serious. Try it. Don't half ass it, really try it. Let go. swing high, slide fast, climb to the top. Maybe go with some friends, so you don't freak anyone out though.


Ever notice how the only things we really read anymore are social media posts? Well, lucky you, you know have some time to kick back on your deck, patio or a park with a good book and a cool drink. Imagine how smart you will be after reading a bunch of books. You'll be so well read when you get your next job that you'll be wowing people with your wit and charm from day one. Once you do that, your new boss will be so impressed that your bound to get a promotion and then you won't even remember getting laid off.


Pajamas. If you think about it, is there any better item of clothing ever made? Well guess what, you can actually wear them every single day for awhile. Obviously you don't want it to get away from you but a certain amount of time in your pajamas is oddly freeing. No need to worry about an iron or a steamer, no need to wear restrictive clothing. Just you kicking it at home in your jam-jams. Add an old school movie from the AFI 100 Best Movies of all Time and you're golden, because you'll have even more conversational topics when you start the new gig. 


baskin robbins CLOWN CONES!

no explanation needed.

Lastly, you get a few days, weeks or even months with out red tape. Come on, admit it this one is kind of exciting you a bit. You can do whatever you want. As an added bonus you get to be rid of these; grey cubicles, weird recirculated air, fickle building temperatures, an outlook calendar full 2 meetings every hour of the day and flourescent lighting. 

later stress & eye strain.

I am not trying to make light of anyone losing their job. We have all been through it. It is never easy, less so when it is a place you loved. The key is to understand that you


can decide what happens next but don't stress out so much that you don't take a least a small moment to enjoy the time for what it is, a little break on your way to bigger and better things.


the search for happiness...

A while back I had the opportunity to watch a movie called "Hector and the Search for Happiness". Have you seen it? I decided to watch it based purely on the title. For those of you that don't know me, I am a sucker for happiness, a purveyor of happiness, if you will. The movie, which was adapted from the book of the same name focuses on Hector (a psychiatrist) who decided to go search the world for what happiness means.

The move was good in large part because it focused on the things that Hector discovered while seeking the meaning of happiness. He wrote them down as he went along. So today I wanted to share those things with you, What better way to head into the weekend then with a list of happiness?

Making comparisons can spoil your happiness

Happiness often comes when least expected

Many people only see happiness in their future

Many people think happiness comes from having more power or more money

Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story

Happiness is a long walk in beautiful, unfamiliar mountains

It’s a mistake to think that happiness is the goal

Happiness is being with the people you love; unhappiness is being separated from the people you love

Happiness is knowing that your family lacks for nothing

Happiness is doing a job you love

Happiness is having a home and a garden of your own

It’s harder to be happy in a country run by bad people

Happiness is feeling useful to others

Happiness is to be loved for exactly who you are (People are kinder to a child who smiles)

Happiness comes when you feel truly alive

Happiness is knowing how to celebrate

Happiness is caring about the happiness of those you love

Happiness is not attaching too much importance to what other people think

The sun and the sea make everybody happy

Happiness is a certain way of seeing things

Rivalry poisons happiness

Women care more than men about making others happy

Happiness means making sure that those around you are happy
— Hector and the Search for Happiness - Francois Lelord

What do you think of the list? Would you add anything? Tell me below in the comments. Have a good weekend.

For those of you working on the Manifesto Project, I haven't forgotten next steps. I will return to the manifesto series in two weeks. This gives everyone the extra time to get everything in order. Don't hesitate to send questions though.