The time has come. Self reflection has occurred and now we need to get to work. This s the hard part because you actually have to put pen to paper and plan.
I mean we have all these ideas but generally when it is time to put them to paper they just fly right out of our minds. I hate when that happens. Here is what I do. I am a scribbler. I cannot seem to focus on anything unless there is a piece of paper in front of me and I can scribble, doodle or just in general make the ink move across the page. OH YES, I was the girl who wrote down the name of my crush on my notebook a hundred times surrounded by hearts. I even have old projects from school like a wooden toolbox that is scribbled all over with the names of boys, cool phrases (well I thought they were cool in the 7th grade) and miscellaneous other things I cant even decipher all these years later. The same can be said for my work notes. I never have to wonder about someone stealing my secrets because you would need a decoder ring to get through my notes.
strangely though, this is actually productive for me. It channels my thoughts and somewhere in the mess of undecipherable doodles and hearts galore, a plan takes place. Now I realize that not everyone's brain works the same way mine does BUT I am here telling you what works for me, so it can't hurt to try right?
So get some sort of notebook (hopefully, the same one you have been using for your reflections the last 16 days). Sit in front of the TV or some other form of entertainment that is relaxing yet not too intense. (In other words, watch mindless TV that doesn't require too much attention...no back episodes of Game of Thrones, Lost or House of Cards here, you don't want to get too distracted.) The distraction here is actually your notebook NOT the tv.
Every few seconds, write something down. It can be a sentence, a word, a cute little drawing, whatever you want. It should however be related to something you would like to do next year. Maybe it is small like "lost 20 pounds". Maybe it is bigger like "get a raise" or "have a baby". Doesn't matter. No further details are needed today. All you have to do is scribble all the possibilities. We will dig into them later and organize them into something that looks like goals with real tangible action items to them. For now just scribble and jot things down. No pressure. Not coming up with anything, look up at the tv and laugh along with Leonard and Sheldon. Turn on some music, grab a hairbrush and dance around the room a bit...boom idea comes to you, jot it down and keep dancing.
The only rule...try to fill AT LEAST one who piece of paper with your thoughts. If it takes a couple days, that's ok. Just keep your notebook near by and grab it when an inspiring thought hits you.
That's it. Wednesday goal setting work complete. We are at the half way point everyone. That means we are about to finish the year ahead of the game because we are going to have a plan for 2016 that takes us all to the next level.
can I get a what what?
My apologies, I got a little excited there. If you did raise the roof and say "what what", my sincerest gratitude. If you didn't, give it time, you might get excited as you start writing things down. For those that did it but don't want to admit it...it's ok, I get it. Maybe next time.
I should start this post by coming clean. I am so guilty of this that my picture should probably be next to the definition in Webster's Dictionary.
It is because of the fact that I am basically an expert in this that I can give advice on why it is just not cool. First, let me explain. Verbal diarrhea sounds pretty gross. It is supposed to. You have experienced it before I'm sure. It is when someone feels they have to speak about everything and they just keep talking and adding so much information that it causes a mental overload in the people who are listening. Once they are done talking, you actually feel like they just threw up (their words) all over you and now you want to take a shower because you just feel gross.
One of my motto's has always been to stand up, speak up; stand out, speak out. so you can imagine why this one might be a struggle for me. In the workplace there are generally three types of people in a conference room.
the person who diligently takes notes and nods their head from time to time but says very little
the person who participates sparingly and calculated, waiting first for what the boss and everyone is going to say
then there are the people that have to speak so bad that they sometimes have to sit on their hands to stop themselves from jumping in
yes I like to talk and yes I have a perspective and opinion and I suppose I just feel like if I don't say anything nobody will know that. This by the way is perfectly normal and acceptable. When it gets to be too much is when it starts to backfire against you. I am also very fond of the saying
You don't have to tell everyone, everything.
I am fond of it because it is something I need to be reminded of constantly. When you tell everyone everything some interesting stuff starts to come to the surface
you start to become the white noise in the room
they stop thinking what you have to say is important or valuable to the discussion because you couldn't possibly have an opinion on everything and be right
people start to get antagonistic just to see if they can get you rattled
it doesn't create a collaborative environment
other group members will back up, not wanting to delve in to the discussion that you may be so passionate about for fear of getting cut off
you may go one step too far in what you say and kill your whole case
How does a serial verbal up-chucker move past their tendencies?
Like most things in life, this has a simple solve. Let me explain. Most people enter a meeting room with some sort of agenda. You want the other people in the room to buy into your idea, appreciate the work you put into something or help you get something off the ground. When you have verbal diarrhea, you come in hot, guns blazing for battle. This is before you even know if a battle is necessary, it puts people on edge.
If you prepare for the battle, however, things go differently. Understand what your goals are going to be before you head in to your next meeting, ask yourself one or more of the following questions:
have i eaten yet?
I know you're laughing at this but it's like the Snickers commercial says; "you're not yourself when you're hungry". If you're going to get people to collaborate with you then you need to be on your A game, so get something in your belly. Besides, food is amazing so why wouldn't you want to be eating all the time?
It is also good to be well hydrated and have used the restroom, this might take a while.
who do i expect will be in the room & who do i expect will object to what i am bringing to the table?
This is sort of a "know your allies", "know your enemies" kind of approach. There is nothing worse than going to battle in the boardroom and watching someone switch sides in the middle. It throws you off you game and is often difficult to recover from so know who you are going up against. Know their arguments, position and where they are vulnerable or open to suggestion.
what is your point? what is your ultimate takeaway?
the things that almost always accompanies verbal diarrhea is panic, fear, a bad feeling in your stomach that you aren't being heard or not being understood. What if that is your own fault? What if you didn't come in with a clear idea and path to explain your position? You think that you are prepared but are you really? I will admit, I am an extremely passionate person. I will fight to the death for what I believe in with high emotions and vigor. That being said I have been in situations where someone came back with some good counterpoints and I was there with my mouth open and nothing coming out because they stumped me. I under estimated the objections to what I was bringing to the table and then wasn't prepared to argue against them. Rookie Mistake.
I guess what I am really trying to say here in WAY TOO MANY WORDS...(hard habit to break), is be aware and keep the following in mind...
be aware of your surroundings
know who you are going after
know what you really want to happen
know when you have lost your audience
know that sometimes silence is best
I realize I am trying to blog for the masses, but I will readily admit that this one is for me. Everyone has a journey and if you're lucky it takes a long time to get to the end. Make sure you are enjoying the view and course correcting along the way.
Happy Monday. Today I want to continue our conversation from last week in the post from Friday, "red rubber balls, coffee breaks and other musings". Today we talk about what happens when you go after your purpose. I want to talk about the part the everyone avoids,
At some point in every journey you come across people who don't quite see your dream as clear as you do. Here's the thing. It's ok.
it's not their dream to understand.
WOAH! right? We spend so much of our lives worried about what everyone else will think, how they will perceive what we are doing, whether or not they will like what we do and who we are.
I mean it, who cares? In a perfect world, everyone would love everyone and everything they do. This isn't a perfect world and that alone makes it perfect. confusing? yes, but having naysayers more than likely means you are headed in the right direction. I am not sure why it happens but for some reason it scares people to see other people doing better than them. These people are not mean by nature and deep down they probably do want what is best for you but there is something in our chemistry (especially women) that makes us think it's either them or us. Like there is limited pool of happiness in the world and you either get a big gulp of it or nothing at all. We see other people doing well and we long to have the same success for ourselves. We start playing the good old comparison game which nobody ever wins.
Got a little depressing there for a minute, didn't I? My bad, but I wanted to make sure you really get what I'm talking about. There is some good news though.
Are you ready for it?
The good news is that when you follow your purpose or passion, you become a megaphone to others. Living your purpose gets so loud, others can't help but hear and want to get loud themselves. I am about to rock your world but did you know that it is never to late to be happy?
there is not limit to happiness on this earth
There just isn't. Go ahead, research it. We do not have a "don't fill past this line" in us with regards to happiness. Quite frankly the only thing preventing us from being happiness is ourselves. We are scared, lazy and doubtful and so we are prime targets for the naysayers who would come and knock us down.
But I have a secret tip for you on how to ignore the haters in your world. If you remember this one simple phrase...
Rocked your world again, didn't I? Well, I can't claim ownership of the phrase, it is actually from the video you will see below. It's perfect though. Think about it. If you realize that everyone is an admirer of what you are doing, things get really easy. Some are confused, and that is fine especially when you consider the following:
not everyone understands genius at work
normally people's negativity has nothing to do with you
not everyone is going to like you
sometimes people admire you from afar
it's your purpose not theirs
It's not always easy to ignore the haters, I get that. There is more than one time where I was crushed by someones opinion of my journey. I would get knocked around a bit but eventually I would get up. Then I started thinking about that saying... "haters are just confused admirer's". I am not saying that a little phrase will solve all of your problems but it does help to put things in perspective and sometimes a little perspective goes a long way.
Check out the second video of the series, with Kevin Carroll speaking on haters.
Now that you know how many admirer's we have, what are you going to do about it? How are you going to plow through the confusion and going after your purpose? Tell me below in the comments. See you Wednesday when we talk about the next step, the people who lift you up on your journey.
P.S. I want to clarify that I am NOT endorsing this Where Dreams Meet Reality group that sponsored these videos. I am not familiar with them in anyway and tried to research them but found no site available. So ignore the parts that speak to that and really listen to the message Kevin is providing. That is what I am speaking to.