I get asked a lot why I choose to write, speak or train with a focus on women. This always surprises me because is kind of like asking me "why I'm single". It implies that something is wrong with focusing on women and wrong that I am single.
I speak to everyone and yes, often my content has a focus about women and/or for women. I do this because contrary to what people want to believe I think there is a difference between men and women and I think that the expectations put on women far outweigh those of men. (I do not expect everyone to agree with me on this, but it is my truth). When I go out and speak, I feel validated in my hypothesis by the multitude of comments, questions and exclamations brought to me by the women in the audience.
I get asked quite a lot of questions but there is one very common thread in all of them. Almost every woman I meet asks me some sort of question that ties into this idea of being "the perfect woman" or how to do it all, how did I get to do what I do. In contrast most of the questions I receive from men in the audience are about networking.
where & when did women start believing that they should try to "have it all" anyways?
When attempting to find a picture of this book, I plugged in the words "having it all" into Amazon and got 20 pages of books with a similar or the same title. Wow, we really do think we need to do this, don't we?
Apparently as we have moved forward with "women's lib" and the "feminist movement" we have also moved towards the feeling of needing to do it all. So many women fought for our right to have options, it seems that we took that to mean we need to take all the options out there. It's kind of like the first time a kid goes trick-or-treating when they come home and eat chocolate until they get sick. (rookies)
Modern technology gives us the illusion of being able to do it all because we have these little machines to "make it easier". Boy is that a misconception. If any thing it has added MORE things to do in order to "have it all". it basically introduced us to a whole new world with its own set of rules for what makes us Superwoman. It has created more pressure than ever before. It is this pressure that motivated me to write this post.
What happens when that pressure gets in the way of our lives? What happens when we aren't really living anymore, we are just doing?
"spend more time "being" & less time doing"
As women have gotten more educated it's as if there is some sort of imaginary starter pistol that goes off and BAM! we are on the hunt. A sense of responsibility and a drive to be successful. And we are putting a timeline on it too. The average American woman gets married around 26 years of age. When a woman goes to college she gets married much later and there is a perception that they have less time to get things going. Husband, babies, career they all have to be rolling along before a certain age or....
I don't actually know what the "OR" is and I'm guessing you don't either. It probably has something to do with FOMO (Fear of missing out). We aren't missing out on anything though. I do not claim to be an expert but I don't think we are missing out on anything,
We continue to try and "have it all". When we try this, we miss out on so much of life. We get so caught with a to do list that we don't get to experience much of the joy or benefits of what we are doing. We have lost the ability to just...
In honor of standing still I am sharing the below video. My mother had me watch it and it really is a beautiful reminder of what is really important.
Let's not be "if I knew then" kinda gals. Let's do what makes us happy, content, at peace with ourselves and the world we have built around us.
The view is beautiful, I promise. As the video says...make it your mission to
relax, breathe and just...let go!
2015 Sanctuary Survey Sample 1,064
Recently, Forbes named the 50 Fastest Growing Women Led Companies in America and I think that is pretty cool. It would be even cooler if one day there didn't have to be a list separating the genders when it came to top business but progress should still be recognized here. One of the best parts about the article is that they talk about misconceptions around female entrepreneurs and dispel some common held myths that women aren't good at starting successful businesses.
So rather than listen to me babble on this gorgeous Friday why not read about these amazing women instead? As you read it, think about what you want to do. What is stopping you?
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
So if you haven't found what you love yet, maybe this list can help inspire and move you one step closer to finding out. The list includes businesses across the spectrum so even if your exact purpose isn't there you get the chance to see the wide variety of options that are out there for all of us.
Enough already, let's get to the list. Click below to check it out.
From interior design to home security, here are the top companies spearheaded by women on this year's Inc. 5000.
At the end of the day I have spent my life searching for my purpose so anything I can do to share what I have learned or people, and companies that promote something similar I will do. Learn a little bit more about my journey here.
Have a great weekend everyone, go out there and do something you love. Hope you come back Monday.
Today for "woman crush wednesday" I am choosing Miss Piggy. Some might think this is an unconventional but those people don't know Piggy. She was recently honored with the "Sackler Center First Award" from the Elizabeth A. Sackler CEnter for Feminist Art at the Brooklyn Museum. Can I get a HECK YEAH!
Miss Piggy has been at the forefront of the "I am Woman, Hear me Roar" movement from the beginning. She never let Kermie define her. She always had an opinion and has always been fabulous. Add to all of that the fact that she is un-apologetically who she is at all times and It is about time we talk about her.
This award is given to women who have "Broken barriers and chartered changes in all disciplines and areas. Piggy gets to share this honor with such amazing women as; Toni Morrison, Julie Taymor and Supreme Court Justice, Sandra Day.
Rather than me tell you how ahead of the curve Miss Piggy is, I am going to let her tell you. Upon receiving this honor, Piggy wrote an opp ed piece for Time Magazine and it is a must read. (click on any of the images to see the full article).
Go check out Piggy's full letter by clicking any of her pictures on this page. Once you do, pretty sure you will be crushing hard.