In a shock to everyone I know, I missed the Emmy's this year. It is a shock because I am actually known for my Award Show parties. Sadly, this meant that I had to watch clips afterwards, What really makes this sad is the fact that it really felt like the Year of the Woman (again), at least from social media and traditional media following the event.
Obviously everyone has been talking about the speech made by Viola Davis which and for good reason, it was beautiful, poignant and thought provoking. It aligned so clearly with not just the issues of women of color on television and movies but the entire culture of race continue as a global community to perpetuate. Between the increasing racial tensions in our country with regard to law enforcement to the Syrian Refugee Crisis we remain a world where hate spreads.
If you were to ask most people if they are filled with hate or are prejudiced against other people, they will say no. Nobody admits to being hateful. They make excuses for what they do based on a variety of experiences, religion, history etc. Think about it, most people will admonish the atrocities of World War II and the concentration camps or the Civil Rights Movement yet so many are standing by and watching as the refugees are hit with fire hoses and dogs or another video of a black American being beaten or killed by an officer of the law.
So what does all of this have to do with the title of this post?
The other speech that impacted me but got less coverage was that of Regina King. Her speech was not necessarily out of the ordinary for an acceptance speech except for her seemingly very sincere shock at having won. There was one section/line though that stopped me.
It is a small but powerful sentence that I haven't been able to get my mind off of it since. It seems that we hear and see in the media a lot of the negatives and burdens of being a woman but rarely see the "power and blessing" being extolled. It is why I think this phrase needs more attention.
I study, speak and educate on women and it took me a minute to determine if I had ever expressed the power and blessing I feel being a woman. My stomach dropped as I realized that I don't honor that enough. Women are the most powerful force in the globe. Many will argue with me I am sure but let's really think about here.
1st and foremost we are the caretakers of the world. Without women, our children wouldn't become healthy and contributing adults to society. Women literally are raising the future.
We are responsible for 80% of all purchases
advertiser's want our money
We have a seat at the table - in some cases at the head of the table
We are big in numbers and we are good at organizing around a cause
we have more women in high places
the power to influence - in my mind, women are the most influential people and yet in the past have never received credit for this
We are educated
70% of all high school valedictorians are women
62% of all associates degrees
57% of all bachelors degrees
63% of masters degrees
53% doctoral degrees
now that is power...
So that is the power of being a woman, let's talk about the blessings.
It's a blessing because we have a voice and using that voice is changing the world in big ways. I feel blessed to call myself a woman when I see all of the amazing things women are doing. I feel blessed to be/have:
We are blessed enough to live in a time where we can get educated and fight for a career, a family and more and there is power in all of that
lots of conversations around women and girls now
to have a voice
empathetic to others
to be a caretaker
to be able to like sports and wear nail polish at the same time
that women in my generation earn more than our mother's and grandmother's on average and get to spend that money the way we want and still are selfless enough take care of everyone around us
I don't have to wear heels to cook in ( I actually don't have to cook) but I can
I can do anything I want but I don't have to do anything I don't want to do
The real blessing in my life is that I get to help other girls and women by sharing my experiences
There is power and blessings in being whoever we are and it is imperative that we dig in to realize what it means to us so that we can celebrate and express gratitude for who and what we are. Once we realize our own blessings we can be more empathetic to others and open up opportunities for people who don't have them; whether it is welcoming refugees into our country and caring for them, volunteering our time to help others or opening up roles for women of color and other individuals in our art. You may say these have nothing to do with each other but the do. The art that these women do open our eyes to the experiences of others.
Quick tip, be sure to look up the show Regina won her Emmy for, American Crime. It was an amazing look inside ALL sides of a single situation and the struggles we still see around race and gender in this country.
Happy Monday. Today I want to continue our conversation from last week in the post from Friday, "red rubber balls, coffee breaks and other musings". Today we talk about what happens when you go after your purpose. I want to talk about the part the everyone avoids,
At some point in every journey you come across people who don't quite see your dream as clear as you do. Here's the thing. It's ok.
it's not their dream to understand.
WOAH! right? We spend so much of our lives worried about what everyone else will think, how they will perceive what we are doing, whether or not they will like what we do and who we are.
I mean it, who cares? In a perfect world, everyone would love everyone and everything they do. This isn't a perfect world and that alone makes it perfect. confusing? yes, but having naysayers more than likely means you are headed in the right direction. I am not sure why it happens but for some reason it scares people to see other people doing better than them. These people are not mean by nature and deep down they probably do want what is best for you but there is something in our chemistry (especially women) that makes us think it's either them or us. Like there is limited pool of happiness in the world and you either get a big gulp of it or nothing at all. We see other people doing well and we long to have the same success for ourselves. We start playing the good old comparison game which nobody ever wins.
Got a little depressing there for a minute, didn't I? My bad, but I wanted to make sure you really get what I'm talking about. There is some good news though.
Are you ready for it?
The good news is that when you follow your purpose or passion, you become a megaphone to others. Living your purpose gets so loud, others can't help but hear and want to get loud themselves. I am about to rock your world but did you know that it is never to late to be happy?
there is not limit to happiness on this earth
There just isn't. Go ahead, research it. We do not have a "don't fill past this line" in us with regards to happiness. Quite frankly the only thing preventing us from being happiness is ourselves. We are scared, lazy and doubtful and so we are prime targets for the naysayers who would come and knock us down.
But I have a secret tip for you on how to ignore the haters in your world. If you remember this one simple phrase...
Rocked your world again, didn't I? Well, I can't claim ownership of the phrase, it is actually from the video you will see below. It's perfect though. Think about it. If you realize that everyone is an admirer of what you are doing, things get really easy. Some are confused, and that is fine especially when you consider the following:
not everyone understands genius at work
normally people's negativity has nothing to do with you
not everyone is going to like you
sometimes people admire you from afar
it's your purpose not theirs
It's not always easy to ignore the haters, I get that. There is more than one time where I was crushed by someones opinion of my journey. I would get knocked around a bit but eventually I would get up. Then I started thinking about that saying... "haters are just confused admirer's". I am not saying that a little phrase will solve all of your problems but it does help to put things in perspective and sometimes a little perspective goes a long way.
Check out the second video of the series, with Kevin Carroll speaking on haters.
Now that you know how many admirer's we have, what are you going to do about it? How are you going to plow through the confusion and going after your purpose? Tell me below in the comments. See you Wednesday when we talk about the next step, the people who lift you up on your journey.
P.S. I want to clarify that I am NOT endorsing this Where Dreams Meet Reality group that sponsored these videos. I am not familiar with them in anyway and tried to research them but found no site available. So ignore the parts that speak to that and really listen to the message Kevin is providing. That is what I am speaking to.