positive

i'm in the pursuit of magic and writer's block sucks

I have been staring at a blank screen for a few hours now. On a number of occasions i have written a sentence or a paragraph only to hit the backspace button while taking a deep exasperated breath. Such is the journey of writer's block.

writer's block sucks

the condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing
— google

it sucks even more when you are trying to remain consistent with a blog. I decided not to erase the last paragraph but of course then I was stuck again. So I decided to research writers block. During my research I found a pretty cool article about the different types of writer's block called "The 10 Types of Writers Block (and How to Overcome Them)". 

score

Maybe I won't find anything to write about but at least I might be able to figure out why. Instantly, I recognized my issue...Number 2 on the list "You have a Ton of Ideas but Can't Commit to Any of them and They Peter Out". 

story of my life

When you write a blog, you write each entry separately. On the left side of my screen is a list of all of my blog posts and at least 1/3 of them are started but unfinished blog posts on a variety of different topics. The idea is not the problem. It's just once I start writing, often times the thought doesn't fully come together in a way that wouldn't be utterly embarrassing for you to read, so I leave it there and hope that I can come back later and turn it into something that doesn't suck. 

My situation 20 minutes ago, or maybe an hour ago, it is kind of all blurring together at this point.

My situation 20 minutes ago, or maybe an hour ago, it is kind of all blurring together at this point.

So I read this article in the hope that it would tell me what to do. Guess what? It didn't. It basically told me told me what I am already doing. Apparently I am totally ahead of the game and know exactly what I am doing. Well, that is a first. It also does not help in this moment.

Apparently, writer's block is a pretty common thing and obviously not really something you can pin a date on as to when/where it originated but apparently the term writers block came about in academic literature some time in the 1940's by a psychiatrist named Edmund Bergler. In fact, Bergler went on to research writers block and wrote a paper on it in 1950 called "Does Writer's Block Exist?" The basic premise is that a writers is working to solve their inner problems by writing. This actually makes sense to me. It is like a lot of different creative outlets. You work through your issues by getting your creative juices flowing. He posited that a blocked writer could use therapy to become un-blocked.  The idea being that you figure out the psychological struggle and you unlock the ability to write.  Later research seems to confirm this. A lot of this later reserach shows blocked writers were often unhappy, anxious or depressed and all sorts of other things that claim to be the source of the block.

This is where I got a little lost. I get how being unhappy, anxious or depressed could cause writers block, it isn't that but if writing is your creative outlet, well then...

it is your therapy

Here is the thing though. Writing a book or a manuscript is a lot different than writing a blog. Writing something in long form is an intense process. It more than likely takes over your life. Writing a blog, I suppose could do the same thing but it is different. Depending on how often you post you have to come up with new and exciting topics that will make someone one want to continue to check in and care about what you are writing about.

not really doing a great job of that in this post right now I realize...sorry about that

If I waited for perfection I would never write a word
— Margaret Atwood

But telling stories is in fact my therapy and whether it is in writing or verbal story telling it fills the void. My problem isn't that I am unhappy and blocked, it is that I am seeking perfection. within reason of course. I say within reason because I am not a writer at heart, I didn't study English or journalism. I very rarely remember the grammar rules of a semi-colon and I probably use the wrong adjectives all of the time. The perfection I seek isn't in the writing as much as it is in the way the content is received.  I feel a responsibility to the content I choose to post. It is important to me that there is a purpose to what I write. I want the stories I tell to create a spark. What happens then is up to you but if I can somehow create the spark then...well then that is where the magic is.

i'm looking for magic

and that is why writer's block sucks so bad. I am in pursuit of magic here people and having a block is not helping. This is where you come in...that's right, I am bringing you into my block.

What would you like to read about? It can be about anything as long as it is positive in nature. Give me some ideas in the comments below.

SOURCE: 

http://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/how-to-beat-writers-block

http://www.9bridges.org/overcoming-writers-block/

it's my party and i'll cry if i want to and you know what? i totally want to sometimes and that is okay

I look so depressed here....I swear it was a joyous occasion. So glad the camera got this look.

I look so depressed here....I swear it was a joyous occasion. So glad the camera got this look.

My name is Dawne and

I am a crier.

I know I probably shouldn't say that but if you are ever to know me then you should know this. You might now be saying, ok but what does that mean?

It means i cry A LOT! I cry for every single range of emotion that is out there, even when I am happy. This is not a joke. Here are just a few examples of inconvenient places I have cried.

these dang beach balls are dangerous and the cause of much embarassment

these dang beach balls are dangerous and the cause of much embarassment

The day I graduated from college. Not totally unusual except that I was doing it and blowing my nose at the same time when my face came on the jumbo-tron during the ceremony and then a beachball came and hit my square in the face all caught on the screen. (my family still laughs at this to this day.)

I was told by the bride that if I was going to cry I had to turn around because if I cried she would cry. So here I am turning around. It should be known the bride also gave me a hankie with the words "no ugly crying" embroidered on it. She gets me.

I was told by the bride that if I was going to cry I had to turn around because if I cried she would cry. So here I am turning around. It should be known the bride also gave me a hankie with the words "no ugly crying" embroidered on it. She gets me.

Seriously camera guy? If you look here, you can see my biting my lip in an effort to not cry.  It's like the camera man feels the need to just zoom in on this super attractive moment

Seriously camera guy? If you look here, you can see my biting my lip in an effort to not cry.  It's like the camera man feels the need to just zoom in on this super attractive moment

Weddings. Again not an unusual place to cry but I have been known to cry so hard that at one wedding I was part of the bridal party, standing next to the bride and was crying so hard the groom stopped in the middle of the ceremony to lean over and make sure I was okay. (talk about embarrassing)

I was most certainly crying here and may or may not have been also screaming obscenities (sorry mom) 

I was most certainly crying here and may or may not have been also screaming obscenities (sorry mom) 

  • movies

  • tv shows

  • commercials

  • watching kids play sports, perform in plays, sing, basically anything - even when I don't know the kids

  • my bosses office (too many times to count)

  • on stage in front of hundreds of people

  • restaurants, coffee shops, bars

  • indoor sky diving, zip lining, white water rafting (all from sheer terror)

  • I have even cried at Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm (one time due to fear, the other out of joy)

Is it any wonder I am single? 

I don't know why this is but over the years I have learned to like this quality about myself. I like it in part because I think it makes me empathetic to others. I feel things deeply and can use that to understand others better. 

It is because of this that I am saying what I am about to say:

it is okay to cry.

YUP, I said it

I have no idea when the world decided that crying was a sign of weakness but somewhere along the line that is what happened. We tell boys that they shouldn't cry when they are young. We tell women they shouldn't cry at work because it makes them "girls" and weak. I hate to say this but in the past I think I agreed and told myself not to cry at work...

"they" are wrong

i was wrong

I look at it differently now. It took looking at all of my personality traits and the package I bring to the table to change my perspective. When I did this not only was I realize crying was an asset but I also realized how rare it is that we take the time to consider our "good" qualities. For some awful reason we focus on all the things we consider negative or that we want to fix which keeps us in the wrong frame of mind. It keeps us negative.

I want to be positive.

I'm not talking about that cheesy, this girl can't be for real kind of positive. I'm talking the authentic, comes out of your pores and makes you glow and creates confidence kind of positive.

I cry because I care. I cry because I am passionate about my beliefs. I cry because I feel the emotion being presented deeply. Admittedly, this can sometimes work against me but that is because people don't understand it. Everyone says they want someone caring, passionate and understanding...

that's what crying is all about

Let's let people know that CRYING IS STRENGTH!!!!!

Let's let people know that CRYING IS STRENGTH!!!!!

at least my kinda crying. So I say this, crying can and should be associated with strength and compassion. We should want those two qualities in people, employees, bosses, family, loved ones, friends, politicians, neighbors etc.

I am not saying that breaking down every few seconds is the key to life. But...an occasional tear or two once in awhile would probably good for everyone. I mean who doesn't cry when watching "The Lion King"?

So, here is my ask of you my faithful readers. Let's all stop associating crying with weakness. Let's not use derogatory language when speaking of crying, let's stop apologizing for having emotions which is a perfect natural thing.

heck, let's have a cry together (if you want)

I leave you with this quote I heard while watching the Steve Harvey Show today. 

live with tender consideration of others
— preacher on the Steve Harvey Show

power of a smile

Today is National Power of the Smile Day. Well, according to the internet. This same site couldn't find any details Having a day about the power of smiling is a good idea. Except this smile day is different. This one is about the POWER of smiling. How cool is that? 

I believe in the power of a smile and the experts agree with me. Smiling is good for our health. It increases immunity, reduces stress and some say even adds years to your life expectancy.  Smiling changes your mood and even makes you look more attractive.  And you can't tell me that seeing the smile of a kid doesn't make you feel wonderful which is a very powerful feeling.

Maybe you don't believe in stuff like this, even when research is there to back it up. That is okay. Everyone has the right to their opinion. But here is the thing...think about how you feel when you smile. Heck, think about how you feel when people smile at you. It's like a drug. You can't help but feel powerful.

And here is the thing, power is what we all need. Not the whole Pinky & the Brain take over the world kind of power. I mean confidence, self worth, empathy and kindness. That is real power. It makes the world a better place for you and the people around you. If you need more proof, check out the infographic below. Some cool info.

Have a great day, and I hope you look for smiles and that they make you feel powerful.