progress

year in review...write it down...take a picture...

ok peeps, here we go. It's time to start our goal setting project. Get out your journals and pencils and let's get working.

You can't plan any sort of future if you don't have a clear understanding of where you have already been and what you did and didn't like about it. If you create a goal in a vacuum it tends to get sucked up into everything else. It is for this reason that the first step of .....

Okay, 2015 is almost complete. With 11 months under your belt, it is time for us to dig deep and ask some real questions of ourselves. This is where your journal comes into play. Write your answers to all of the questions below. Be specific and include details.

ask yourself this...

what is your best memory from 2015?

  • the best thing that happened to YOU (be specific)

My best memory of 2015 was hands down seeing my brother and sister-in-law become parents. While technically this happened to them, it gave me the opportunity to become fall in love for the first time. The specific moment for me was here in this picture. This was the first time I had ever held a baby )less than 3 months old) and the first time I held my nephew, Otis Wayne Hanks. This is me checking to make sure he had the right number of fingers and toes.

My best memory of 2015 was hands down seeing my brother and sister-in-law become parents. While technically this happened to them, it gave me the opportunity to become fall in love for the first time. The specific moment for me was here in this picture. This was the first time I had ever held a baby )less than 3 months old) and the first time I held my nephew, Otis Wayne Hanks. This is me checking to make sure he had the right number of fingers and toes.


What did you do this year that you are the most proud of?

The thing that makes me the most proud when I look back on 2015 was the fact that i took a huge leap of faith. I left a job that was part of my identity, a place I had grown up to come home and follow my purpose. It is no east thing to leave your comfort zone and trust yourself enough to know that you deserve to live in your truth, but that is the chance I took and I am not foolish enough to let that go by unnoticed by myself and be proud of the step I took.

The thing that makes me the most proud when I look back on 2015 was the fact that i took a huge leap of faith. I left a job that was part of my identity, a place I had grown up to come home and follow my purpose. It is no east thing to leave your comfort zone and trust yourself enough to know that you deserve to live in your truth, but that is the chance I took and I am not foolish enough to let that go by unnoticed by myself and be proud of the step I took.


what are you the most grateful for in 2015?

I am grateful for home more than anything. It wasn't the easiest year. There were issue with my health, building a business, finding a job, getting back into the swing of life in Oregon and needing to lean on everyone in my life to get me through. By coming home, I was fed, clothed, housed, lifted up and and taken care of. There is no possible way I could have taken the steps I took this year without that backbone. Whoever said you can't go home, didn't have a home like I do...

I am grateful for home more than anything. It wasn't the easiest year. There were issue with my health, building a business, finding a job, getting back into the swing of life in Oregon and needing to lean on everyone in my life to get me through. By coming home, I was fed, clothed, housed, lifted up and and taken care of. There is no possible way I could have taken the steps I took this year without that backbone. Whoever said you can't go home, didn't have a home like I do...

Did you learn something new about yourself?

Did you have a moment of clarity?

Did something specific happen?

If family and friends is what you are grateful for then be specific as to why that is. 

Remember that at the end of the day this project is about exploration and honesty. The more you put into it, the more you will get out of it.

(I may have just had a deja vu moment to some childhood parental lectures, hmm..)


Once you have completed the questions, consider something bold. Share them with someone you trust. Saying them out loud and sharing them opens you up a little more. People who know and trust you might remind you of additional things to consider and remind you of some great things you bring to the table that you might ignore. We are always tough on ourselves and this exercise is about being honest and kind to yourself, so don't be afraid to open up and share your answers with people you know and ask if they think you should add anything else.

If you are really bold, you can even share some of your thoughts in the comments below. You don't have to share your specific answers but if you want to share your experience in coming up with your answers, feel free. It is always good to hear how people are approaching the process.

Friday, will be day two and we will talk about gratitude and acknowledgement.

A little throwback of the two of us around the time I entered my thirties....Throwback.

A little throwback of the two of us around the time I entered my thirties....Throwback.

P.S. My little sister enters the world of "Thirty, Flirty & Thriving" today. So sad I can't be there to celebrate it with her but so grateful to see her grow into the most amazing, capable, strong, smart and bold woman. Only the best is on it's way. Can't wait to see what you will do...

The most difficult word in the English language

Recently I went through a transition within my career. I left a company and industry I had been working in for almost 12 years. It was an extremely exhausting process. One filled with pain, anger and uncertainty. I chose to full-heartedly embrace that transition because I could see where it was leading. I didn't see the end destination necessarily but I could see how this was the right road to try and walk down. That vision is a beautiful thing but it doesn't necessarily make it any easier.

Typically, transition doesn't have that much appeal for people. I happen to know quite a few people who have been in flux for months and are coming up to a large transition in the workplace. I get calls every single day from people requesting help with their resume's and Linkedin profiles. They express uncertainty and feelings of fear, anxiety and in few (very few) cases a little bit of excitement.. This, of course is understandable, we as humans do not respond well to change.

In terms of change at work, the number one reason that people have feelings of anxiety and fear is because so much is unknown. it makes sense, think about the beginning of time and cave men were the hunters of the family.

Risk society is the manner in which modern society organizes in response to risk.
— wikipedia

There was so much unknown in their lives and therefore they were in a constant state of fear. It works that way for "negative bias" which we have discussed before but it also exhibits itself in other ways. One of those ways is something called "risk society".

transition
[tran-zish-uh n, -sish-]
noun
1. movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change:
— www.dictionary.com

A fancy term to say we freak out when we think something is on the line. So how we do stop freaking out? First things first, let's really talk about what the word "transition" really means. The first thing that stands out (at least to me) is that none of the words used to describe transition carry a negative conotation. In fact the definition actually describes a process of MOVING FORWARD.

You may have notice the painstaking efforts I made to stay away from the word "change". I did that because I think that words causes seizures in people or something. But in the end it all boils down to change. We as a species do not take well to change.

I found an article from Forbes Magazine written by Jacquelyn Smith with some great tips for transition, "12 Tips for Overcoming Your Fear of Change at Work"

12 tips is great and the article is actually worth a read BUT...if you are anything like me, 12 feels like a lot. (said as I ramble on for multiple paragraphs). For this reason I thought it might be good to focus on one that isn't on the list. 

STOP TALKING

How simple is that? The first thing everyone wants to do when they freak out is find out as much information as they can from any source that they can. The problem with this is that it turns into one giant game of telephone. Remember that game from childhood? Nothing correct ever comes out on top in the game of telephone.

It is important for me to note that I did NOT use this advice when I went through my work transition. I looked for information any and everywhere I could. That is why it is my advice to you. I lived through it. I came out on the other end but I had a lot of bruises along the way. This is my advice. stop talking about it. stop listening to it. Whenever possible take the telephone away from your ear. Having rumors swirling in your head only brings about more fear. Imagine if you got the heck out of the game and could just wait for the real phone call to come in.

If you need to talk to someone, make it a friend outside of work and talk about something completely unrelated. Make it one of those friends that makes you smile and laugh and get silly with them.

Yup, I am talking about good old fashioned taking your mind off the situation. It is not avoidance per se, it is redistributing your energy into something you that doesn't make your blood pressure raise. 

SOURCES:

http://bit.ly/1eZI4BO

http://bit.ly/1uDecdJ

http://onforb.es/1JsnMe8

http://bit.ly/1CIh2DR